Trust

Almost five years after that very strange day,
when this character disappeared

an echo from that disappearance
finally fell away

not from proof
from trust

the echo was the fear
that this nobody-ness

was some kind of epiphenomena
left over from a peak-experience

somehow taking its own sweet time
disappearing

a worry worse than the death of the physical body
or loss of almost anything else

( that no one ever really owned )

the recurrence of a mental referent
– that cloying place-holder
– the star of every story
– the center of every bit of interest
– the represented protagonist
in the cartoon of a represented life

returning
as if that were the ground of anything

( other than the ground of self-deception )

the worry has left
not from any certitude of what will happen

but rather that

trust arises
from encountering the wide awakeness

trust arises
from enduring the half awake awareness

trust arises
from noticing the flickers of the unconscious

trust arises
from simple seeing

for this one has done nothing
to create the wide awakeness

nor can it control
its own passage

in it-through it-as it
in the least way

rather
the wide-awake awareness

shows up
as what it will

one day as the cloudless sky
the next as driven sleet

another time
heat & bright sun

worrying
– just mere foolishness

the ground of existence
never left

it never stops
showing up

however it happens
until it changes

no one ever controlled it
no one ever starred in any show

(except in the theater of the imagination)

no one
ever had
anything
to lose

____________________________________________________

Echo pic from here.

Theater of the imagination pic from here.