Idle Reflection

Many years ago, my partner died after a protracted illness.

The grief that followed was not linear.

Each wave of deep sadness shook the foundations of the world I lived in..

Every start of the chain of remembrance was a shock.

The day might start ok, only to dive into deep sadness and gloom later on.

No forecast.

No projection.

Not linear.

QQ截图20140220110713

Eventually, grief ran it’s course.

Life resumed.

A new life.

Alone.

Prior to the experience of grief, there was no sense of the depth and power of this experience.

No sense of the ways it changes one’s view.

No sense of how it tears open the heart.

Afterward, there arose a resonance with others who knew someone close to them die.

The heart stayed slightly torn open;
compassion for those in grief remains here after grief dissolved.

Awakening was something like that.

It upended the foundations of “my” world.

Instead of Heart torn open,
Mind tore open.

Afterward, a resonance with others who have been through it remained.

Mind never “scabs” over,
never completely returns to a previous state.
Changed and changing each moment.

Spaciousness remains, fundamentally unchanged.

* ** ***   *****     ********

Graph from here: QQ截图20140220110713

Sky from here: https://vanishingnarrative.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/836c8-blue_sky_clouds_public_domain_picture28329.jpg

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About dominic724

A former seeker starts blogging.
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