Ciaran Heally, creator of the RUTHLESS TRUTH forum (precursor to the LU) urged the RT bloggers emphatically:

“The Gate! The Gate ! Keep focus on the Gate !”

I took this advice to heart, and kept VN tightly focused on the Gate,
for as long as it would go.


The period after that curious experience in 2011 when the “I” collapsed and the silence roared, when the world had to hear about awakened things from here – that’s over.

Told and done.


Really, am starting to forget the frenetic urgency of seeking that drove this character, the days of hoping against hope that this awakening thing was really real, that maybe it would even happen to “me” someday.

Without the sense of immediacy and urgency born through that long search, a blog fixed on the the awakening event and immediately prior could lose vibrancy.

Time for a refocus.

If more posts want to be written, they will open up to life after an awakening, and issues of post awakening practice.


The challenges of “awake” life bear an uncanny resemblance to the challenges of life before that curious experience: the practice of love and goodwill, non-harming and ethical conduct, grinding down to the the egoless truth in every experience.

The main difference remains the notable absence of a thought character
who is “doing.”

Since this thought character was never more than an optical illusion, how much difference does it really make when it’s removed ?

Quite a lot, in this life, anyway.

The emptiness remains a constant friend, no mere concept.

Living life relating with the emptiness, in the emptiness, as the emptiness helps penetrate the confusion and negativity which continues to also present itself.

What remains was always here: just experience.

Pre & post-Gate and no Gate; every event, every interpretation, every relationship, happening in experience as experience.

Insights, events, everything comes and goes, just as always.

To who does any of this matter ?

* * * * *

“Awake” life is still human life, still prone to identity-making.

Again and again, looking with fierce clarity cuts through the veil of thoughts, muscle tension, habits and body sensations as they appear to reconstitute an identity, then dissolve.

If there exists a strong habit of honest introspection, it will find plenty of grist.

Up come wild emotions and bizarre stories from early life experience, unleashed by the absence of restraining obscurations.

Fully welcomed in all their fearful ugliness, many wonderful opportunities for deepening mental health and spiritual practice present themselves.

If you have no stomach for this, well, it does vary a lot.

Maybe you will be “lucky” and not be confronted with anything painful or embarrassing that won’t stay buried under thought any longer.

Just don’t count on it.

* * * * * *

The waking up event no more characterizes the “awake” life than the first kiss characterizes two people’s married life together.

Memorable, certainly.

Central ? Not even a little.

Repeatable ? No. Each event occurs as one-of-a-kind.

Relevant ? Only in identity creation (imagination) of the “awakened”.

* * * * * * * *

RT Banner came from here: https://vanishingnarrative.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/b2201-capture333.png 

Rodin’s “The Kiss” statue pic: https://vanishingnarrative.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/cff64-rodin2520kiss.jpeg

About dominic724

A former seeker starts blogging.
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4 Responses to Epilogue

  1. Lynnjkelly says:

    Beautiful, Dominic. Yes to all of it. Ironically (perhaps), I had given up my focused striving when the insight into anatta happened along. Profound and yet subtle. As my teacher says, it’s the beginning of the path. Perhaps it marks the end of some kinds of confusion, but our karma rolls along with momentum nonetheless.

    I still think Vanishing Narrative is the perfect title for your blog. This is what happens, ever so gradually. More and more things seem normal, even unremarkable, as they stop being “my story” and continue as experience with no fixed experiencer.

    Beautiful analogy of the kiss/marriage = awakening/life.

    Thanks for sharing. I look forward to continuing the on path with your companionship.

  2. Yes, Dominic. Yes and yes and yes!

  3. ronyared8 says:

    Well said Dominic. Nothing left to hold onto, and yet deepening seems to be able to go on endlessly.

  4. StepVheN says:

    Excellent. There’s no “transcendence” it’s more like “descent” into reality

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