Vanishing Narrator

A morning,  like many other mornings, with consciousness coming slowly. Pressure. Texture. Light. Lying in place for a while, turning over, getting up.

Pause.

What just happened ?

Getting up happened.
With no conscious decision to do so.
No thought involved nor required.

No “I”.
Just the body.
Getting up.
On its own.

Whoa!

How could that happen ?

Perhaps something was missed ? Will look more carefully tomorrow.

Next day, it happened again.
And the next day.
And the next.

Never again did the little self ever take credit for getting up in the morning.

And the domain of the self shrank by a little bit.

So…if the self did not get the body up in the morning,
what other activities did it falsely take credit for ?

Walking.

Riding bicycle.

Driving a car.

Those little wheel adjustments every few seconds to keep the car in the lane,
all done without a single thought interfering.

With each noticing, the self retreated further and further.

At this point, the question was “What, if anything, does the self still seem to do? ”

The domain of the little self had shrunk severely.

The last bastion of the “I” remained hidden in thoughts alone;
the only place it ever was.

(con’t)

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About dominic724

A former seeker starts blogging.
This entry was posted in The Roar of Silence and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Vanishing Narrator

  1. I find all this fascinating. My question is, how does the self-less driving of a car relate to conscious incompetence/ unconscious competence? So, I learned to drive, and drove automatically, and then my friend points out some ways I could improve and I bring my conscious attention to those, and work on them.
    And- how does it relate to bad driving? “I” am feeling angry, and I accelerate and brake harder, take less margin for error, am less courteous. I do not necessarily have my monkey mind saying “Faster, faster” consciously.

    • dominic724 says:

      Who drives ? Who learned to drive ? Doesn’t driving just happen ?
      It may sound odd to talk like this, but it is a very worthwhile line of inquiry.
      Where is this “I” that is referred to ? If the “I” can be found, please describe it for me ?
      Thanks for the comment !
      Kind Regards, – dn

  2. “I” will try that. My answer at the moment is separate currents within my skin, emotional and rational, but I do have a sense of making an effort, what that feels like. Who am I? Who does? Who observes? are useful questions.

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